Monday, December 10, 2018

Monday Musings

I sometimes feel like I've simultaneously been living in two realities my whole life. One that consists of getting good grades and eating green vegetables and remembering to get the oil changed in my car. This reality is where goals are met and progress is made and physical and emotional muscles are built. The other end of the spectrum though is where night time snow flurries look like sparkles under a spot-light-like streetlamp and the John Mayer (circa 2003) playing on my iPhone begs me to choreograph a dance in place of a walk home. This reality makes colors more saturated, all the world a stage, and each experience another opportunity to write a whimsical account for a children's book.

Do you think the two worlds will ever collide? Is part of growing up this ultimate fade out of fantasy into reality? Or is there some happy medium where we can snake the drain and pay off our student loans, but do all that with a smear of choral lipstick in bluish purple jewel-toned light while humming to a La-La Land-esque melody?



I have always been a daydreamer. Just ask my grandpa about how I'd "talk to the trees"; he always got a kick out of that. Or ask my mom how many hours I'd dance to the Nutcracker as a 4 year old. My walls have always been covered with pictures and magazine clippings, and I can't help but snap photographs wherever I go and whatever I do. I was even an art major once upon a time in college before I switched to Child Development.




However, my life in the last few years has slipped into a much more linear, realistic existence. Relationship realities have caused tried and true "chick flicks" to lose all savor, and even I've gone days, sometimes weeks, so entrenched in my work and school responsibilities that I forget belt out a good Adele or Barbra Streisand ballad in my car or the shower. I've even started wearing all black ensembles on a regular basis because they're easy to pick out and style... Seriously, who I am though??


I do also acknowledge that the world we live in leaves very little space or time for anyone to regularly be swept up in the artistically-enhanced fantasy version of life.


 However, some of the people I admire the most, who are happy, content, satiated, and who consistently brighten my life, are the people that refuse to settle for a life simply of deadlines and realities, and embrace the beauties of the details in their lives. From literally stopping to smell the roses, to taking a jump rope class at the YMCA, to wearing colors and styles that are out of place but true to their personality, to opening a bakery, to moving to their favorite city, to living as an artist, to writing a screenplay, to starting a band, they live their truth boldly and brightly. Their happiness is contagious so there's got to be something to this method right?



Well I guess this is an attempt at utilizing the artistic side of my brain again; (even though in my grad school neurology class I learned the whole left/right side brain isn't completely accurate, haha) me writing this fairly flowery, overly-descriptive, adjective saturated blog post about the colorful, sparkly, musical fantasies in my head in an attempt to start to reconnect with my abilities to create the beautiful life...

In other words, anyone want to go to a museum??

Or to a limited-release movie at a theater that only senior citizens attend??

Or plan a trip??

Or take a walk during the "golden hour" and admire how the light sparkles on the water??

Text me, yall. I'm off to paint something.
Or find a new museum.
Or watch Dream Girls. Because, Beyoncé. And sparkles.

1 comment:

  1. You wore this so perfectly. I think most everyone feels this way, but I don't think everyone wants to hold on to the dreamer part if themselves as much as you do and I think it's a shame. Keep holding on, Amanda!!!

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