I've thought a lot about, and struggled
a lot with the concept of being enough. I've listened to and read talks and studies about what defines "being enough". The funny thing is, where I've learned the most about it is actually during my experiences working as a teacher.
I always
know my students are enough as soon as they walk through the classroom door. They have everything within their minds, hearts, and character to
succeed. And
flourish. And add to the world
so much light. And actually, most of my students come into the classroom carrying some major learning roadblocks. But no matter what they have to work through or overcome, nothing is too great of a struggle to keep them from reaching their astonishing potential.
It's crazy how much this has taught me too about my own capabilities. As I have literally "preached" (if you will) the truth of individual potential to each of my students, I have found myself each time learning more and more that it's even true for me and my life! I still find this concept exceptionally difficult to grasp on some days, but the more I work and keep moving forward, the more I trust in my own capacity. And I continue to see how I am enough; how I have enough within me already, to
become.
The crucial part of this concept of being enough, or whole,
for me, comes from a belief that I have access to a relationship with God. That I can at any and all times access the help of an omniscient and
all powerful being, who will aid me in reaching goals. And today at a world wide church teacher training meeting (say that 3 times fast), both my teaching and religious worlds collided to help me learn more about myself and the concept of being enough.
We read this verse of scripture about charity, "Wherefore, my beloved bretheren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart... that when he shall appear we shall be like him,
for we shall see him as he is;
that we may have this HOPE; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."
I realized today that some people struggle with faith, some people struggle with humility, etc... and I struggle to have hope. I sincerely have faith that all things are possible through Heavenly Father, but I don't always have hope that my goals can be met. It sounds contradictory, but that is my fundamental struggle. This lack of hope is what causes me to feel desperate and alone, and overcome with despair and depression at times.
But I also realized today that what I do undoubtedly have faith, and what I do
always hope for (despite my own cyclical trials), is a hope that I can become like the Savior. He is my closest friend and I know His character, and love and so deeply admire it. And while I don't always have hope for the aspects of my life; like hope that I will ever be able to run a marathon, or hope that there will be the vocational opportunities for me to create the life I desire for myself, or even the hope that the men I come to love will ever remain faithful and be able to be sealed to me in the temple; I DO have a piercingly bright hope that I can become like the being whom I admire the most, my brother and Savior, Jesus Christ.
And I am making it my choice now to let that hope permeate all other hopes I have, and
BE ENOUGH to see me through all trials that I will face.
The only time this could become a disappointing aspiration is if I were to completely stop trying. Then I would lose my reason to hope. And while I know I am so far from perfect, and I know there are multiple times I've taken a few steps forward and then many more steps backward, I also know that I have
never stopped trying. I struggle with confidence in my abilities in all areas of my life, but I realized I can be confident in the fact that I have not ever given up.
Today when Elder Holland was talking about being called or asked to serve as a teacher in the church, he said "You were called because of who you ARE, not because of who you are NOT." I had the thought too, that we are also called to help us to become what we are not already. We are constantly being given opportunities to
become.
Anyway, the gospel is true, and life is so good, albeit really really hard and confusing at times. Also, people are also full of so much good and light and potential. So remember, it's never that you're not enough. You're always enough. But you also can
become exponentially, inexplicably, unfathomably MORE. You just need to be willing to ask, and then keep moving forward without giving up.
