Empty Hearts

     I believe that God exists.  I believe that all human beings were created by God, and that we are all His sons and His daughters.  And I believe that God communicates with his children.

     One of the first things I felt that my Father in Heaven communicated to me, was that I had the potential to be like Him; and specifically, I felt very deep within my spirit, that I was created with the potential, like my Heavenly Father, to care for and raise sons and daughters.  And I felt strongly that there was no more important work I would do in my life than to be a mother to those children.

     My life today is the outcome of trying to follow those and many other whispers to my heart, and promptings to my mind, of what I feel like God would have me do.  Now admittedly, I'm far from making those decisions perfectly, but I have worked hard, and tried my best, to make choices in order to be obedient to those principles that I have felt in my heart are correct.  I can't deny that my life has been very blessed as I've tried to live that way.

     And yet, because I have always felt so strongly of the importance of having a family, there are times that despite the blessings that have been so abundantly poured into my life, I feel a deep and inconsolable emptiness because of those blessings yet to be experienced.  And as my life continues to progress through twists and turns of work and relationships and experiences, it almost seems as if that empty space grows bigger and the ache it causes becomes less bearable.

     But, the further I delve into that work and those relationships, and those experiences, I also realize more and more, that everyone harbors their own empty spaces within themselves.  That emptiness is not unique to me and my life's situation.  Everyone has something missing; something in the form of relationships, something physical, something temporal, something spiritual, something mental.  As I've watched the people I love struggle deeply to find solace in seemingly unending emptiness, and I've felt in myself longings for the answers to years and years of praying for my own emptiness to be filled, I've wondered why that is something a loving Father in Heaven would allow his children to experience.  Why withhold blessings that come from righteous desires, from His children that I know that He loves?

     I don't have all the answers, or even great philosophical insight into the answer of this question.  And I really think the answer goes much deeper, and has much more eternal consequences then I have the capacity to even begin to comprehend.  But I have come to know this; Heavenly Father wants more then anything to have us return to live with Him, and that requires that we go through the process of being perfected.  I don't think we would understand what great need we had for the redemptive power of our Heavenly Father's gift of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, if we didn't feel those holes (and honestly, sometimes deep chasms) of emptiness.  The power of the Atonement has the ability to reach so much farther then I understand, but I have felt it patch up pieces of myself that I have felt are missing, and even broken.  And I have chosen to have faith that it will continue to fill those empty parts of myself as I continue to choose to access it.

     I believe that God loves me.  He loves me enough that He doesn't just give me blessings in return for righteous choices, He gives me opportunities to learn and grow and become more like Him.  He doesn't bless me with "tit for tat"; instead He blesses me with what will help me stretch and grow most.  I have "great reason to rejoice" because I know that.  To quote the awesome Relief Society teacher on Sunday:

"We can rejoice NOW knowing that God WILL KEEP His promises."

"My dear brothers and sisters, aren't the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and our membership in His Church great reasons to rejoice?  Wherever you live on this earth and whatever your life's situation may be, I testify to you that the gospel of Jesus Christ has the divine power to lift you to great heights from what appears at times to be an unbearable burden or weakness.  The Lord knows your circumstances and your challenges.  he said to paul and to all of us, 'My grace is sufficient for thee.'  And like Paul we can answer: 'My strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me' (2 Corinthians 12:9)"

--President Dieter F. Uchtdorf