Monday, June 27, 2016

Follow Up: Why I'm grateful I have depression

Mental illness, emotional disability, and afflictions are hard. They're life altering. Trials, struggles and disappointments bring us to our knees and they are roadblocks on our path to success. 

But, (and this is like a Jlo sized but,) that doesn't mean they deter us from living a powerful, successful, and joy FILLED life. Maybe they make us have to work harder for those things, but doesn't that hard work make us even more elated when we finally do reach the finish line??


So here's the deal; I deal with depression daily and it's halted my personal progress, and made me think very seriously about giving up. But I haven't. And this is what I've learned (and re-learned) each of the times I've chosen to keep pushing forward and keep battling through;

1) EVERYONE has faced a deep depression. Even if they don't face clinical, chronic depression, they have (or will) face a situation in life that breaks them. EVERYone. I can listen to people's struggles, look them in the eye, and tell them I am so sorry. And maybe I don't know exactly what they're going through, but I do sincerely know that feeling of hurt and despair, and I'm genuinely sorry they have to face that. It's also an incredible equalizer once you know that. No one is better than anyone no matter what their outward appearance. 90% of the time you really have no idea what that jerk at the DMV is facing, and why they're a jerk, so when you realize that everyone has felt broken or in despair, you learn compassion for them. And patience. And you realize you're absolutely no better than them. You've been there. So I'm grateful for depression because it has taught me sympathy, and taught me how to better relate to people simply because we're all flawed and we've all hurt or are hurting.

2) Everyone is on a spectrum. What I mean is that everyone faces either anxiety, depression, autism, aspergers, OCD, dyslexia, eating disorders, or addictive behaviors, etc... Not all to the extent that we need interventional help, but where we have to come to terms with how we naturally react to situations, and handle pressures. Having to face and admit to myself that I am on one of those spectrums was probably one of the hardest things for me to do, but also incredibly liberating once I finally did.  It helped me to acknowledge my weaknesses (instead of trying so hard to hide them), and then start asking for help to move forward.

3) This one I'm still working on (sorry friends and family), but I have made some progress; it is ABSOLUTELY okay to ask for help. People will surprise you with how much they genuinely want to help you. Also, there are countless resources available to help and support you. Use them!! There is no need to muscle through on your own. That is an extra expense of energy that someone can help you out with.

4) Sleep is a game changer. Don't underestimate the power of a good nights sleep. Don't. Life looks so different in the morning. Or after a good, solid nap.

5) Taking care of yourself will help you be able to take care of others. Don't feel guilty taking time to yourself to sleep, or exercise, or get a massage or a pedicure, or even #netflixandchill, because you are worth investing in yourself. And once you have, believe me, you'll be MUCH better prepared to turn around and take care of others. And work towards your goals. And find happiness, because that is sometimes really hard to do.

6) Your value, and the definition of who you are, does not come from the clinical label of your struggle, or the title of your job, or the amount in your bank account, or your marital status, or the number of accolades you have received. It comes from your instinsic value as a living human being, from your character, and from the way you choose to move forward once you've been broken down. I don't believe this on my bad days. But heavens, when those days pass, I'm on a mission to tell this to everyone. You are more than your struggles. You are worth EVERY effort to try again and again and again. I tell this to my students all the time, to my friends and my family, and I literally say it to myself in the mirror. 



7) Utilize, to the FULLEST, all the "good days". Know that hard days are inevitable no matter who you are or what you face, so remember when it's a good day, to FILL it with service, and goal reaching, and creating and simply relishing in the light and beauty that is life. Because life is SO FULL of those things. And people need YOU so badly.
 
8) As crazy as it sounds, the deeper you feel sorrow, the deeper your capacity becomes to feel happiness. So chock it up to experience when times get tough, because when times get good again, they're gonna feel like someone sprinkled them with pixie dust and sparkly rainbow unicorn sprinkles.


So go be you. Don't wallow. Find your Sasha Fierce. Love people with whatever capacity you can. Let people love you back. Take care of the body and mind and life you've been given. Find the sunshine. Cherish the sparkles. And when days get tough, don't get down on yourself. You are worth fighting for. So keep fighting!

 

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