Why yes, yes I do.

I love my life.  It's FULL, ALL THE TIME, with astounding people and opportunities.

Sometimes though,

I just wish I had a husband and babies.

Let's be honest for a minute.

Well here's a wee story about that.  The other day I was having a little chat with one of my bosses.  It was a serious chat about business.  He was filling me in on buisnessy-type issues and giving me updates.  He asked for my feedback.  He was very polite and professional.  At one point, he, in a very buisness-y way, asked about my plans for the future in regards to my schedule.

But then, he caught me off guard.

Still with a manner of professionalism, but now with a bit of a twinkle in his eye, he said, "I mean, I know you really want to fall in love and have babies..." and finished with something to the effect of "but for now you're going forward with other things...." (or some statement like that).

Then he flashed me a big grin.

And not even a facetious one, but a genuine one.

A bit of a smile that made light of a potentially uncomfortable subject, but also said,

"It's okay, I get it."

Now, I work really rather hard,

to fill my head with different thoughts

other than thoughts that dwell on things I don't currently have.

Thoughts such as:

Would I ever have chosen to do this  if I was married and had kids right now?

Look at what I've accomplished that I didn't even realize I ever wanted to!

I could go do that ?! I never even thought about that!!

(Being single and 24 is actually kind of rad.)

I'm also working very hard to take action on these thoughts too.

So my day-to-day existence is very much founded on that thought process.

But,

what my boss said that day kind of pulled the rug out from under me,

because,

well,

my boss is right.

I really  just want to fall in love and have babies.

In fact, sometimes I want it so bad, it hurts.

So here's a random thank you to you Mr Boss-man,

really.

It's an unexpectedly wonderful feeling,

that someone out there gets,

that despite all the things I'm involved with,

and trying hard to accomplish,

and the genuine smile on my face,

and honest gratitude and love for my current life,

the greatest desire of my heart is still to be

a wife and mother.

And without prodding me to get married ASAP,

you're simply cool with it.

thank you.

so much.

What a random blessing huh?

This could have been awkward,

and could have been 20 seconds of my day that meant nothing,

but I'm pretty sure what it actually did,

was remind me that I'm always being looked out for,

and this random 20 seconds

was precisely what my heart was in need of.

Tender mercies are rather tailored to our individual needs and personalities...

wouldn't you agree?

Grateful for:

My fabulous life as a single 24 year old;

a ticket to NYC in  days,

and also to see Newsies on Broadway.

I should never EVER complain right?!!!

Thousands of Pictures

I've been working on a project over the last few days that has required me to look through most of the pictures I have saved on my computer.  Conclusion from my jaunt down memory lane: it's surprising and hilarious how much we change.  Physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually, spiritually.  It's funny too how we forget how much we've changed.  I WAS thinking that I was an ever-immature child-inside-an-adult's-body who enjoys watching the Disney channel with the kids I nanny, and almost daily discusses princess trivia.   I have realized though that only a few short years ago, I used to love some clothes I currently find hideous, I used to spend hours listening to music and talking about things that I now find comical, and I had HUGE crushes on boys for reasons that have since slipped my mind.

A few years ago, I was one of those girls too who genuinely  thought... well honestly I think it was more like expected  (because it just logically made sense--since that's what EVERYONE did...) that college was a time to get married, and I simply would not finish it without being married.  Well, here I am; I graduated over a year an a half ago, I'll be 24 in a few months, and juuust in case you were wondering, I am not married. (hahaha) Let's think about this though; I DO have a degree!  And I've had multiple -literally life changing- work experiences and internships. I've also met and worked and served with countless numbers of incredible women and men, and also specifically, UNBELIEVABLE children who floor me with their talents and understanding of and vigor for life.  I have been to London, Australia, Hawaii, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, and Paris.  I have eaten real Belgian waffles and seen the Eiffel tower sparkle at night.  I have been through the temple and made sacred covenants with my Father in Heaven.

So here's the "Aha!" moment; none of these things had a "marriage prerequisite" attached to them.  AND, some of these things would not have been a possibility had I been married!  Food for thought.

When I started college, I didn't have a clue about my own potential. I had no idea what potential I had to BECOME a student, or a teacher or leader or advisor.  I didn't know I could travel to multiple destinations by myself  to meet up with friends at international destinations.  I didn't know I would find in myself capabilities through my years as a student, which would require of me a level of dedication and work I did not know I could take on.  I did not know I could overcome the challenges I've had to face socially, scholastically and mentally.  I didn't know I would ever have the courage to play my ukulele at a talent show or sing a duet at my graduation, or a stake women's conference!  Never EVER thought that.  I NEVER thought I'd even CONSIDER Grad School, but here we are; researching graduate programs is a daily occurrence for me these days.  Masters degree?? Me?? 

Yes.  I definitely COULD do that.  And that's the bottom line.  This post is NOT meant to be an expression of my dreary and sad thoughts about my lack of a husband or children.  It is my written reminder to myself that I am CAPABLE OF MUCH MORE that I originally perceived.  I can BE or DO ANYTHING  I want to.

I'm ranting a little bit.  But this is something that has been on my mind constantly for months and months now.  I know you and I have in us a well of possibilities and talents of which we haven't even scratched the surface yet.  DON'T FORGET THAT!!! Life is longer than tomorrow and next week and full of days and people and possibilities and detours--but listen; those detours are what get you on the path to ALL you can be.  Not just a part of it.  What are some things you want to accomplish??

Things I want to accomplish:
-be a published children's book illustrator
-go to Grad School [specific field of study still undecided :)]
-be a CAREER lady.  (who would've thunk?)
-get married in the temple
-have as many children as humanly possible


Grateful for:
Mustard yellow and pea green macaroons. (citrus and pistachio flavored though!!)

Quote of the day:
"Because scriptures are generated from inspired communication through the Holy Ghost, they are pure truth.  We need not be concerned about the validity of concepts contained n the standard works since the Holy Ghost has been the instrument which has motivated and inspired those individuals who have recorded the scriptures. 

Scriptures are like packets of light that illuminate our minds and give place to guidance and inspiration from on high.  They can become the key to open the channel to communion with our Father in Heaven and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ." 

--Richard G. Scott