Thank Goodness

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints we hear this phrase a lot;

               "Wait on the Lord's timetable, there is a plan for you."

Most of the time, I feel like this phrase follows experiences of rejection. I've actually heard this expression often... (one does not make it through the majority of their 20's without coming face to face specifically with rejection... over and over... I think this decade of most of our lives could easily be summed up with that one word...) And unfortunately I got to the point where, because of facing what I felt like was too much rejection, I didn't let that phrase sink in anymore.

I was at this place where I was asking things like, How many more guys will I have to date (or TRY real hard to date...) JUST for it not to work out? How much longer will I feel passionate about raising families, but not have the chance to do so with my own? How many more times will I search and study and pray and fast to make the best decision of how to move forward and accomplish my "purpose" in this life, just to discover that it was not quite the right purpose... yet AGAIN??

          I was ready to give up.

Not on one thing in particular, but more like giving up the general effort of trying to become, and instead just kind of exist... and just let myself be entertained along the way... not a great life plan, obviously, but I was past the point of exhaustion from all that trying, and all that being rejected.

So I prayed. I told Heavenly Father that I was exhausted, and then I kinda did give up.

Now, I could write a whole book about why/how not to do that, but the summary of it would be  this; DON'T do that. It sucks (sorry mom I know you hate that word), but seriously, it hurts you and ends up being a painful road to walk. Plus, here's the deal, Heavenly Father KNOWS you, LOVES you, and wants you to SUCCEED... and I guarantee He's been guiding you AWAY from what would hurt you and hinder your progression, and I KNOW He's been leading you TOWARDS your greatest potential.

So after I stopped whining long enough to get my butt up and be proactive about doing the things I knew would make me happy (reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, studying my patriarchal blessing, and specifically going to the temple), I started recognizing little (very little, because I'm a slow learner) by little that my Heavenly Father's hand has been in each "rejection" I've ever faced.

          For example:

     1) Had I gotten married in 2008/2009 when I "thought" I should, I would have regretted my wedding dress choice for the duration of eternity.  Pinterest was not something I had back then, nor was an actual style.

     2) If I had been married back then, I would never have had the chance to be roomies with my sister currently. And I can't even begin to imagine that. Seriously. It's making me cry.

     3) If I had gotten into Grad School when I wanted, I would never have moved to Utah (and never lived close to my siblings, or) started working where I work, and never would have discovered the "niche" of what I really really LOVE to do.

     4) I was diagnosed with a hormone disorder at the age I thought I would have started having kids.  It's a beast and has caused all sorts of issues, but usually it's not discovered until you're trying to have kids and can't and then it's an awfully long road to figure it out... SO, I may have been through 4 doctors, a gazillion diets, and different treatments over the past 6 years to deal with this thing, but hey, I'll be 6+ years smarter about the whole situation when I'm married and ready to start a family! And I'm a ridiculous OCD planner, so that's an unexpected tender mercy.

     5) Without feeling an emptiness for blessings that I have not yet experienced, I may not have needed so badly the Atonement of the Savor or the love from my Heavenly Father. And most of who I am today is a result of the truths I have discovered while prayerfully seeking after those things.

   
So here's my amendment to that phrase we seem to hear so often;
                             
        The Lord KNOWS you, 
     He knows what you're meant to BECOME,
     He has a CAUSE for you to fight.
     Keep moving forward, and TRUST HIM.

                     Oh yeah, and BE GRATEFUL!

Because when I think through all these "rejections" with a recognition that they were actually helpful nudges in the right direction, I definitely feel like "thank GOODNESS"!