You're Juuust Right.

I am most definitely a perfectionist--to the point where if I can't do whatever it is I'm doing perfectly, I might just not do it all together.  It's bad.  I'm honestly in a constant state of some sort of panic that I'm not doing the best I can do.  This usually means I can't relax and enjoy life since I've not completely finished and perfected each task at hand (this mode of function can actually be a good motivator to improve and be better, but only when that level of panic is at a minimum...)  But let me tell you, when anxiety drives your life, gracious!  It takes a toll on your soul and your body.  Sometimes I'm so exhausted from worrying and feeling overwhelmed with that anxious stress, I feel like I'm 85 and not 23.

Well the other day at work I was sitting there folding laundry with the kids... sorting socks and worrying.  Of course.  Worrying that I it was to presumptuous to do laundry since the family has a maid, worrying that the kids would start fighting about putting laundry away, worrying that I should be implementing chores and responsibility in these kids lives more often, worrying that I was being too passive in my job, even worrying that I needed to be reading scriptures and saying prayers with them on a more regular basis, and therefore worrying that I was not doing all that I could to keep my covenants and share my testimony... Whew!...THAT is what anxiety is.  I really think all those things.  In a matter of like a minute. While I'm sorting socks.

But then, the oldest boy looks over at me and says, "You know, in terms of nannies, you're just right.  Do you get what I'm saying?" Hahaha At first I wasn't quite sure what he meant... but he went on to explain that I was the perfect mixture of a nanny who he could talk to and have fun with, but he knew I wasn't going to let him get away with things he shouldn't.  He even told me he was grateful that I discipline him about certain things.  He's a teenager.  Seriously?!  He was serious.  My little heart was about to explode.

And that's what we call a miracle people. 

Miracles happen all the time.  Heavenly Father steps in and, with the help of the people around us, He scoops us up in His arms and reminds us that today we're "just right".  For where we are in our lives right now, we're just right.  Granted, we are also always being shown the things we should improve as well, but He puts us where we need to be just then to learn and grow as He knows is best. Our strengths and weaknesses are vital to our current situation. For the work that He needs done right now, with the situation of people surrounding us, we're just right. 

So today I'm breathing a little easier.  I'm grateful for a broadened perspective.  I'm grateful for a great job working with great kids.  I'm grateful for the different situations I know I have been lead to throughout my life, and especially throughout the last few years that have helped to shape and strengthen me.  I'm grateful for the people that are sent to aid in that shaping and strengthening, and for the people that have helped me discover my potential.  I'm also rather grateful for the people that make sure to support me through their words and actions.  I need to be more like them and reach outside of myself more often.  That's when my crazy stressing subsides.  I'm grateful for my Father in Heaven and for the gospel that He's given to you and to me.  It brings real and lasting peace and understanding to my life whenever I take the opportunity to utilize it.

 

I'm grateful to know that through the Atonement, my seemingly futile attempts keep improving are blessed with the power to be "juuust right" for today.

Grateful also for a ticket (Can you see? I'm holding it!) to WICKED this weekend with my fave little girl that I nanny. (And don't worry, she is the only girl I nanny so I can say that)  I was part of the Birthday party which consisted of three 8-9 year old girls and then me.  It was sooooo fun.  It's true; I feel more comfortable hangin with kids than with people my age.  That's fine.

And my outfit is inspired by my new favorite Mormon fashion blogs...  I set a New Years resolution to stop dressing like a bum and wearing yoga pants and Harry Potter t-shirts everyday... and those blogs have been great inspirations!  Hooray for yellow scarves and coral shoes!!



Quote of the day:
"Charity is far more than a feeling of benevolence... Charity is born of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and is an effect of His Atonement." -Henry B. Eyring (as quoted in this month's VT message)